how to control your inner critic?
Yesterday felt like one of those days where everything was just...off. Nothing seemed to go my way, and I was incredibly annoyed. Honestly, constantly blaming myself is exhausting too, and the last thing I wanted was to be alone in my room, lying in bed and replaying everything in my head (￣︿￣)
When I got home, I tried to calm myself down by repeating, It's okay. It's just a bad day, not a bad life. I had dinner, cleaned my room, and although I was still exhausted, I really wanted to watch the British Grand Prix. The LEGO drivers' parade was soO much fun to watch, and once the race started, I genuinely got excited again! The race was tense. Every overtake made me hold my breath, and every lap felt like it could change everything. I honestly believed there was still hope for Max to finish on the podium (ง︡’-‘︠)ง
Then everything changed. Kimi's car developed problems, and out of absolutely nowhere, Max had issues with his car too and ended up DNF (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) Bro, it hurt sO bad!
What stayed with me wasn't the disappointment. It was Kimi Antonelli's spirit. Even after realizing his car was failing, he said: I think I want to keep going. That was the moment something shifted inside me. I could feel that energy, it definitely sparked something in my heart. Kimi could have simply followed the team's instruction to retire the car and let his inner critic to control him. But instead, he wanted to keep going, even when he knew the result probably wouldn't be what he had hoped for... I admire him for beating up his inner critic ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ
The truth is, no one is exempt from having bad days and what matters is to find that little spark that helps us believe all over again. I realized that sometimes, hope doesn't come from ourselves first. Sometimes it comes from watching someone else refuse to give up. It's amazing how seeing someone keep fighting can quietly reignite something within me. My heart starts beating a little faster, my mind stops dwelling on what's gone wrong, and somehow, almost without realizing it, I begin cheering for myself again and quieting my inner critic!
Then, there's Charles Leclerc ʕᵔᴥᵔʔ
He qualified P2 in the British GP, and during the interview he said that he had finally found the feeling with the car again. But then he quickly added that he wasn't completely sure yet that he needed to confirm it on race day.
Listening to that, I couldn't help but think about my own inner critic. That little voice that tells us to doubt ourselves, even when things are finally starting to fall into place. Because how can you really control your inner critic? How do you silence that voice? How do you stop doubting yourself even when things finally seem to be working? I've asked myself those questions so many times.
And baby, he won. P1! The energy was insane. It's his first Grand Prix victory since 2024. I couldn't imagine how many disappointing weekends, mistake, bad luck (especially with the walls) (；￣Д￣) and setbacks where it would've been easy to stop believing. But he kept showing up. He kept doing the work. He kept believing that the feeling would come back. And eventually, it did (＾▽＾)
This is the kind of energy that reaches people you've never met. Me, sitting in my room after a terrible day, wondering if I am good enough and trying to find hope again..
Little did Charles know that by believing in himself, he was also giving someone like me permission to believe in myself again.
Sometimes it isn't about the trophies, the podiums, or who finishes first. Sometimes it's about witnessing someone that refuse to give up until they find their feeling again..
And somehow, by watching them.. I am starting to find mine too..ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ