is dreaming a wrong thing?
Who gave us permission to stop dreaming? I have been thinking about that question a lot lately. Was it the moment someone told us to be realistic? The moment we failed at something we loved? The moment we were told to know our place, know our limits, or simply be grateful for what we already had? I don't know. What do I know is that somewhere along the way, many of us stopped believing that bigger things were possible. And perhaps that is why this project means so much to me. I believe we deserve the right to dream. Not because life is fair and dreams always come true, but because dreams are often the very thing that help us keep moving when life isn't.
At its core, I truly believe that everyone is equal. Equal in worth, dignity, and right to dream. But life can be unfair. Some are fortunate enough to have access to good education, opportunities, and support systems. Others are not.
Sadly, I cannot change that reality overnight. And perhaps I can help build a bridge. A bridge connecting children with opportunities, scholarships, better schools, mentors, and kind-hearted people who genuinely want to help. I want future generations, regardless of where they come from, to know that they have the right to dream.
In fact, even now, I am still dreaming. Which sounds ridiculous. A person with plenty of flaws, trauma, and many reasons to believe otherwise. And maybe that's exactly why I want to build this project.
The more I think about it, the more I understand why people struggle to relate when we constantly use ourselves as examples. Nobody can fully understand what another person has been through. They are not me, and I am not them. Human beings are already blessed with something extraordinary: a brain capable of imagining possibilities beyond what currently exists. The dream is not us to give. The dream is already inside us. Perhaps all we need to do is show them what is possible, and allow their minds to take their own course.
Recently, I visited an orphanage in Palasari. What surprised me most was that before arriving, I hadn't even realized that the orphanage is having the same name as my mother's Catholic baptism name: Maria Goretti. The moment we entered, we were greeted by a simple green garden. Nothing extravagant, just beautiful and clean in its own way. It felt homey and peaceful. Then I saw a swing, and for a moment, a major throwback coming to me. That single swing brought me back to my childhood. It reminded me of the swing we had at home back then.
- The swing where I waited for my parents to come home.
- The swing where I sat when I was alone and bored.
- The swing where I cried endlessly and slept.
- The swing where I played alone.
- The swing where I hung upside down like a little monkey.
- The swing that quietly witnessed all of my weirdness growing up.
Such a simple object yet somehow it carried decades of memories.
As I continued walking through the garden and into the building, another wave of memories came rushing back. The hallways looked remarkably similar to the dormitory where I lived during junior high school. A bit of a story that my grandmother and mother enrolled me in a Catholic boarding school because our home was in a village while the school was in the city. The daily commute was simply too difficult. At that time, I hated it. I hated the rules, the schedule and the lack of freedom. Everything happened at specific time. Wake up at 5 a.m. to the sound of a loud bell, then gotta queue for the shower. We had to clean our own room. Follow the timetable. Eat simple meals which contains mostly vegetables. Studying in a room that felt you went to class after class. Sleep at exactly 9 p.m. Repeat. I saw it as a prison. Perhaps that is why this visit touched me more deeply than I expected. The orphanage did not feel foreign and in many ways, it felt strangely familiar.
Then, I was especially moved by Sr. Gratia, a kind and loving woman who has dedicated her life to caring for these children. Her purpose, her commitment, and her compassion reminded me that there are still many genuine people in this world. This kind of encounter is the reason why I keep believing.
There is something I have always struggled with. How do you feel when someone says just be grateful, other people are struggling too. I know we all mean well when we said that. I know that we are trying to comfort someone when we say that. And weirdly, deep down, I hate hearing that sentence. Because something inside me feels limited whenever I hear those words. And for a long time, I couldn't understand why.
- Does dreaming mean I am ungrateful?
- Is wanting more wrong?
- Is ambition bad?
Maybe sometimes it is. Maybe sometimes it isn't.
When we say those things, we usually are not trying to hurt others. We simply just want others to feel okay. But the truth is,
- things are not always okay
- things are not always fine
and we have to face that reality honestly.
I am approaching 36 years old. There are many moments when I feel late.
- Late for opportunities
- Late for dreams
- Late for life itself
And I know many people feel the same way for me too.
For a long time, I've been living in autopilot. I felt like my soul lacked purpose. Imagine being able to see a dream, wanting it deeply, and feeling that you can never reach it. That is a very sad feeling. But I gotta keep moving. At this age, I am finally learning piano. Something I wanted since I was a child. I stopped dreaming about it because I believed I wasn't good enough. Against all odds, I push myself to learn Mandarin at this age as well. I want to be able to think and to speak in Mandarin. The funny part is that my Dutch is still better than my Mandarin, simply because life gave me the opportunity to study and live in the Netherlands. Well, learning piano and languages are not the point here. The point is that dreams do not disappear just because I stop believing in them. Sometimes they simply wait.
And that is what I want every kid to understand. Dream. Dream as big as possible. Find your own way. Challenge what people tell you is impossible. There are more paths than most people realize. That's why I would love to connect and create awareness for this children that scholarship exists. There are scholarship committees, educational institutions, mentors, and people who genuinely care.
To me personally learning English opens a lot of doors, because learning a language is not only learning words. It is,
- learning culture
- learning perspective
- learning understanding
- learning frustration
- learning belonging
- learning how another human being sees the world
This project should not dictate anyone's future, but rather to let nature take its course.
- Let children explore
- Let them ask questions
- Let them discover who they are
- Let them to take things slow
- Let them think
And yes, some of them start with fewer advantages than others. But discipline, persistence curiosity, and opportunity can change a life.
This time, I want to spend real time with the children in Maria Goretti orphanage for two days. I am thinking that in the first day to simply observe, connect, and experience life with them, and maybe before bed we can watch a sports documentary together. Why sport? Because to be able to achieve that world championship level starts with a dream too. I felt motivated when I watch sports and I hope they will feel the same way too and find their own way to their dreams. And on the second day, maybe we can do some workshops, games, activities, laughter, learning and plenty of rewards. Because every child deserves good things.
Growing up, I often thought that my parents were the worst. Now I see things differently. They loved us in their own imperfect way. The problem was that they never shared their struggles with us. And because I could not understand them, I could not relate to them. As much as I don't want to believe, I think the same might be true for many parents who abandon their children. The story is rarely simple. But regardless of the circumstances, these children still deserve a chance. They deserve to live fully.
- To thrive,
- To create,
- To contribute,
- To change the world,
- To help society,
- To awaken something good in others.
I truly hope this message reaches anyone who wants to help in whatever way they can. Be it about
- the children
- the environment
- the future
- the world.
For most of my life, I have been surrounded by people telling me "That's weird, that's not enough, it's not the right time, just be grateful, it's too difficult, you can't, know your place, know your limits" and the list continues. I am tired of hearing those, and honestly it frustrates me to my core. The worst part is that after hearing those voices for long enough, they become your own. I start questioning myself, and think that maybe they are right. What can I do anyway? and just like that, those words shape who I become. But perhaps they do not have to define who I remain.
That is why I wish more adults will encourage children to ask why, and I wish more adults answered honestly. Even when they don't know the answer, even when the answer is uncertain. Don't you think that we already grew up with enough fairy tales? We need to show children the real world, that,
- the struggles and the beauty can coexist at the same time,
- the unfairness and the possibilities can happen too.
All of it. Because reality is difficult, but reality is also full of opportunities waiting to be discovered.
If we want to do good, we also have to make sure that the kindness reaches the right place, because money alone does not change lives. But right people do. To find the right people who can transform contribution into opportunity, care, education, growth, and hope. We need to find people who genuinely care, to find places where kindness is multiplied.
I do not wish to share children's struggles to gain sympathy. I do not want to advertise sadness. What I want to share is hope ʕᵔᴥᵔʔ These children may face challenges that many of us cannot imagine, but they are also living, laughing, learning, growing, and making the best of the life that God has provided for them. What touched me most was not their hardship. It was the people around them. Sr. Gratia and the people managing the orphanage truly care about the children's wellbeing. Not because it is their job or because someone is watching. But because they genuinely want the children's wellbeing to thrive, and that matters. A lot.
I am grateful to have found them, because you can really see when good-hearted people come together, something beautiful happens. When children begin to believe in themselves, dreams become easier to imagine, possibilities begin to appear, and little by little, lives change. That is why I hope more people will support places like this. Not out of pity, or guilt. But out of belief. Belief that every child deserves an opportunity. Belief that every child deserves to be seen and deserves the chance to become the best version of themselves.
This orphanage is not a place for pity. It is a place for hope, and I truly hope that together we can help that hope grow even further ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ
Below is the photo during the first visit:
If this resonates with you, and you would like to connect, share ideas, contribute, collaborate, or simply learn more, please reach out to me at: postcardsfrombali18@gmail.com
Hope is not the belief that everything will be easy. Hope is the decision to keep going, even when the road is uncertain ʕᵔᴥᵔʔ
Thank you for taking the time to read this♡